“Caregiving” – I feel like I am hearing this word everywhere. Everything surrounding this word is about the physical stress, the mental toll and the financial burden. My parents are doing fine, but the day is going to come (soon, I think) where I, too, am a caregiver. Is there anything I should be doing now to help prepare for the future?

First of all, breathe. It’s going to be okay. Yes, there are more caregivers than ever before, and yes, that number is growing at a rapid pace. You are reading more about it because we are trying to figure out how to take care of ourselves as the Baby Boomer population ages and lives longer. And, the care that Baby Boomers desire is very different than their parents’ generation. I heard someone once say that he is happy to live in a nursing home one day as long as it is designed to be good enough for Mick Jagger!

What you can do now:

• Embrace every moment and live for today. You can plan for the future, but the reality is that things typically don’t go as planned. So, plan anyway, but be ready for a curveball.
• Talk to your parents about what they want and don’t want. Have the candid conversation that if they become of “unsound” mind at some point, you will do everything possible to uphold their desires, but that you might have to make some hard decisions. This will help guide you and let you off the hook if you do something which upsets them.
• Educate yourself about the options of care for aging adults, but don’t hurt yourself studying it too much. Again, every plan changes.
• Stay healthy to the best of your ability. Unfortunately, most caregivers get injured, sick or die before their loved one. I am certain this has to do with taking care of other people and neglecting ourselves. So, as simple as it sounds and as hard as it is, take care of yourself.
• Know your employer. Whether that is an organization or your household, know the place where you work. Are they “caregiver friendly?” Do they understand caregiver needs? What are their policies surrounding care for a loved one?
• Make sure that you have a great elder attorney and accountant on hand to help navigate the system. It is confusing and no one expects you to understand it right off the bat, but having trained people around will empower you to make the best decisions for your family.

Don’t worry yourself sick about preparations. The fact that you’re thinking ahead is the best first step you can take. Enjoy the time you have with your parents now, and when/if the time comes to discuss care for them, know that you have plenty of support in helping make the right decisions.

Tina McIntosh, Joy's House